The Stories We Tell Ourselves

We’re making it all up. We really are. How we view our reality is just a story we are telling ourselves. It is our truth, for sure, but make no mistake that others would view or live our exact same experience and come to a different conclusion about it. The events are neutral, but it’s we who give them meaning through our individual perspectives.

This is actually good news because if the story you tell yourself about your life shapes your life, then you can change it if you wish. It only stands to reason that if you’d like your life (or some part of your life like your relationships, a work experiences, finances, health, etc.) to be different than it is, the best way to begin is by changing the story you’re telling yourself about it. This is where new possibilities and new outcomes reside.

I used to struggle with allowing my whole day to get derailed by one minor inconvenience that irritated me or made me feel angry. Now, I try to look at the emotional response as simple information. I acknowledge my feelings but don’t allow them to control the narrative and spin off a whole new, negative story that ruins my day.

You have to be intentional about this. You have to raise your awareness and notice how you’re feeling. If it’s any kind of a negative emotion or reaction, this is the time to check your story. Ask yourself some better questions like, “Is this the only way this story could go?” “Is this the only interpretation I could hold about these events?” “Is there another way I could think about this?” “What would I advise someone to try or do, if this were not happening to me but to someone else that I cared about?”

We’re telling ourselves stories all day every day. Why not try to be intentional about it?  When we change our internal narrative, we change our responses and our outlook on life.

This week, try reshaping your stories and watch how life begins to take on a whole new look and feel.

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head.  Always. All the time.  And that story makes us what we are.  We build ourselves out of that story.”

~ Patrick Rothfuss