Outside Voices

An outside voice can challenge and encourage our inside voice.

“I bet your husband doesn’t have a chance if he gets in an argument with you!” That’s what someone actually said to me after a presentation I gave on mastering crucial conversations. I wasn’t really sure what he was talking about because my husband and I don’t ever have any arguments. And, if you believe that, I’ve got some oceanfront property in Iowa for sale.

A lot of people think that because I am a communications coach that I have a perfect marriage, perfect children, and a perfect team culture at work. Let’s set the record straight: I don’t. None of the above. Just because you understand a concept and teach it to others, does not mean that you have it personally mastered for all time. I am a good communicator most of the time, and I aspire to be a great one. It’s actually a very good thing that I do teach it so often as I need the consistent reminder of the principles as much as anyone.

I’m not always the leader at work that I desire to be. I’ve certainly made mistakes as a parent. And at home, we have a “no coaching” agreement. Truthfully, my husband, nor my grown children, are all that interested in my professional opinions about what would make their communication skills better. Weird.

But, one thing I know is that if you want to get better at something, it’s pretty hard to coach yourself. We all have blind spots, and a pair of qualified outside eyes can be invaluable in helping us handle limiting beliefs, see new possibilities, and gain access to resources we didn’t even know existed. I currently have a business coach, a fitness coach, a marketing coach, and a financial coach. On occasion, I’ve used a parenting coach, a speaking coach, and an image coach with great success. All have proven to me that I need outside counsel from people who have gained a level of success to which I aspire. I consider them to be my personal board of directors.

An outside voice can challenge and encourage our inside voice. You know, the one that tells you that you can’t, won’t, or couldn’t create what you secretly dream of. If you want to accelerate your career path, strengthen your business, and improve your relationships or outcomes, then consider a coach. Do your homework and find someone who has achieved a level of mastery you admire, and then try them out on a short-term basis to see if it will be a good fit. But, one caution… don’t look for someone to tell you how great you already are. Look for someone with whom you can relate and in whom you can trust, and then expect them to push you beyond your comfort zone to attain your goals. I’ve found that the coaching hasn’t really begun until things get a little challenging.

We’re not meant to do this thing called business (or life) alone. At LionSpeak, we will continue to follow our calling to help those who seek to communicate at a higher level, lead from a strong emotional platform, create positive cultures, speak with influence, and train for mastery. We’d love to be a set of outside eyes for you, and we would welcome the opportunity to explore if we might be a good match (because clearly no one’s listening to me at home!). But, whether it’s LionSpeak or someone else, there are lots and lots of options out there. Your job is to find the right one for you. So, stop waiting. Set your sights on a higher version of yourself and get an outside voice to speak to and to elevate your inside voice.

What would you choose this week to which you could apply the “Hard Thing Rule?” Where do you need to develop more “grit” in order to obtain the things you feel most passionate about?


“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out.
Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction,
a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.”
~~Pete Carroll

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