There are times I look back on raising kids and wonder how on earth any of us survived, me or them. Take trick-or-treating on Halloween for example. Trying to keep both my boys who were seven years apart in my motherly sights with all their friends in tow was like herding hungry cats. One Halloween, having worked all day and …
The 4 “C”s
I have often believed that my actions in life and work are an extension of my confidence. In other words, if I want something to happen for myself, I just need to muster the confidence and do it. Over time, I have discovered that three things are wrong with this idea. First, I had them backwards. You don’t need …
Committed Sardines
You probably already know the largest mammal on earth is a blue whale. But, did you know the blue whale is so large that it can take up to five minutes to turn 180 degrees to swim in the opposite direction? No surprise, really, when you consider an adult whale is roughly the length of 2 ½ Greyhound buses, weighs …
Failure Avoidance Vs. Error Recovery
I often hear from employers and managers that finding critical-thinkers, problem-solvers, or self-starters is hard to do in this day and age. And yet, it’s interesting that the very traits that makes them so are generally frowned upon in business and in society in general—taking risks; exploring new possibilities; learning and adjusting from the inevitable mistakes. Many of the world’s …
We Can Give It… But Can We Take It?
Why is feedback so easy to give but so hard to receive? In my experience most of us have negative emotions associated with feedback. Receiving feedback, even from people we trust and with whom we have good relationships, can cause us to have a defensive, emotional response. Sometimes that response is voiced and sometimes we internalize it. Either way, we …
The General’s Tent
Stephen Covey once said, “Wars are won in the general’s tent.” In other words, preplanning, deciding on priorities, and committing to action is the difference between random success and consistent success when it comes to your most important goals. If you’re like me, you do battle every day (all day!) with the “tyranny of the urgent” as emails, texts, messages, …
The Story We Tell
If you’ve ever seen the movies Courage Under Fire or Snake Eyes, you know that a circumstance or event can look very definitive from one vantage point, causing us to come to a conclusion about which we feel very confident. But, viewing it from another angle can cause us to draw a completely different conclusion and, therefore, experience a new …
Downfalls
John Gottman is widely considered to be one of the most influential psychologists of our time and is known for his research on what makes relationships (particularly marriage relationships) work. He is probably most famous for his newlywed study which led to his ability to predict divorce with 90% accuracy. I believe it doesn’t work much differently for professional relationships. …
Finding Freedom in Your Boundaries
Setting boundaries for yourself with colleagues, family members, or friends can sometimes feel heavy, selfish, stressful, or even harsh; however, clarifying your boundaries first to yourself and then to others can actually relieve stress, lessen “overwhelm,” reduce drama, and keep you from feeling like you should be doing something you’re not. I once had a professional colleague who I helped …
Triggers
A couple of weeks ago, someone said something to me offhandedly, and I felt an immediate internal reaction. It seemed to me that the person was accusing me of procrastinating, if not being downright lazy. I was offended. When I reacted, the person was genuinely surprised as that was not at all what they had meant. As a matter of …