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Perhaps Love

My colleague, Paul Homoly, once told me that my message, speech, and offerings on any subject would get better once I wrote a book on it. Already a published author, he knew from experience that the rigorous process of organizing your thoughts, proving the argument, providing a clear process, and inspiring the reader to action is required for a well-written book. The …

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Calm Under Pressure

I believe people’s true colors are revealed when they find themselves under real pressure. I once watched a grown man on a boat in heavy seas, who was in a full-on panic, push a small child out of the way to get himself to safety. Another time, I stood in disbelief as a small argument between two people in a restaurant turned …

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Positive Conflict

“I hate conflict, and I avoid it at all costs. It’s just how I’m wired. So I guess I just have to put up with it.” This was a statement made to me recently by a team member who was struggling in her job with someone who, in her opinion, was an overbearing supervisor. I believe this statement and belief …

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When they go up, we come down

There have been countless moments in my life when someone or something triggered a big emotion within me. And that emotion always spawned an even bigger, often immediate, reaction from me. Most of those, I have later regretted. We are currently living in one of the most collectively stressful times in the last 50 years, and everywhere people’s reactions are demonstrating the …

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You Gotta Mean It

The words, “I’m sorry,” can sometimes feel like a true apology or just a great big brush-off. I’m reminded of a time when, long after its due date, a cushion I’d ordered from Pier One hadn’t arrived. For a week the tracking section of the UPS website stated it was “scheduled for delivery today.” After several attempts to track the package online, …

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The Gift of Conflict

Every time we face conflict… it’s a generous gift. No exceptions. You may not accept the gift, but it is there for the taking, nonetheless. There is growth here for us that is available no other way but through conflict. In addition, every time we approach conflict from a bigger perspective … we model a better way … as a reminder to ourselves and …

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Conversational Cocktails

The ancient Chinese philosopher, Laozi, said, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” For years I have been a student of what constitutes, influences, and improves Conversational Intelligence (CI), and lately there has been a tremendous amount of neuroscience giving us great insight into how we can master our …

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Part Two: Demonstrating Empathy

Last week, I shared about a conversation I had with a man at dinner. This man trains Oncology Residents and, while he is truly impressed with the dedication, talent, and level of clinical and scientific education his recent students possess, he lamented the poor level of skill his students exhibit in their ability to connect, relate, and communicate effectively with …

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When Love is the Answer

Yesterday, Tom and I toured the historic CelioRanch in Christmas Valley, just a few miles from the cabin. The Celiofamily came to America as Swiss Italian immigrants who homesteaded in the El Dorado area just outside of Sacramento, California. They built a lumber mill, dairy, and cattle business for which they procured summer grazing lands high up in the Sierras. …

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Issue Resolution

From time to time, issues arise between members of any team which require resolution in order for the team to continue to function at its highest level. Following are six points to remember for positive and successful issue resolutions: Turn your complaints into requests. Change “you” statements to “I” or “we/us” statements. Never go backwards! Focus on the future only. …