My friend and training mentor, Ian McKelvie, says, “If you can only have conversations with people who agree with you and feel the same things as you, that’s a very small sliver of humanity to access.”
Another really smart guy, Mark Twain, is famous for saying, “When two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”
Agreed. It’s hard to work or to live with someone with whom you disagree all the time on almost everything, but those around us who disagree with our point of view or experience things differently than we do can be a benefit to people who wish to become better leaders. Those that challenge our perspectives or beliefs often make us uncomfortable, but without them, we only surround ourselves with “yes-men” who never give an alternative position to consider. Having only those with whom we agree as company, we begin to believe that our view is the only view and our experience is the only way. This is a dangerously limiting perspective if one wishes to be at the forefront of change in the world and adaptive in nature.
Disagreement and alternative positions make us uncomfortable, but great leaders are usually folks that get really comfortable with being a little uncomfortable. Whether it’s engaging in important but tough conversations, making hard decisions or asking for your people to shoot some holes in your ideas, being temporarily uncomfortable is part of the game of growth. Like building muscle, growth and strength require some stretching and potential soreness to continually access new ways of thinking and fresh ideas.
You may still come to the same conclusion but without ever asking, “Is this the only way this could go?” or “Is there another way to look at this?” we limit potentially valuable information in exchange for comfort, and information is power.
This week, expand your thinking, your choices, and your horizons by getting comfortable with a little discomfort. Invite other points of view and neutrally consider other perspectives of experience. Don’t allow yourself to be closed to new information or ideas and open yourself to the wealth of alternatives available for your consideration. Then, see if your decisions still feel right or if you have possibly had a change of mind by thriving in the discomfort.
“Growth is uncomfortable; you have to embrace the discomfort if you want to expand.”
~ Jonathan Majors
Comments
This is the one I needed this morning Katherine. Thanks for a timely sermon 🤩
You’re welcome, friend. So glad it landed just when it should, Brandi! Funny how that works.
Absolutely…….a slow learned lesson for me at times but highly valued. Thank you.
Oh, me too, and I’m still working on it! When we feel strongly about something, it’s really hard to open up and truly consider alternative positions but I find it is so beneficial not only in expanding my options and learning new things, but also in not becoming entrenched and intractable about things. Thanks for reading and for taking the time frequently to write such a kind note. It means a lot to me.
As always your perspective is “bang on”…and so appropriate for today’s climate, where so many opinions are shared publicly! I always enjoy my Monday mornings with you. Thank you.
Thanks, Christie! So glad to have you on this journey of work and life with us! Thanks for being such a great part of our community.