You ARE the Traffic

I was frustrated and stopped in what seemed like endless traffic on a crowded LA freeway when I looked up to read a billboard that said, “You ARE the traffic.”  The truth of the simple statement took a moment to register, and then it made me smile.

It was a funny little reminder that while we are looking out at others as the cause of our discomfort, irritation, frustration, and anxiety, we are often a part of it, too, yet don’t recognize it.  The simple sign also reminded me that my experiences aren’t always the same even if the situation is similar and that so much of the experience is determined by my state of mind. One day I’m in traffic and someone cuts in front of me, and I feel agitated. The next day I’m in the same traffic, but I’m in a different state of mind. I smile and wave the other person in. So, it’s not the event but rather my state of mind and the state of mind in others around me.  When I’m in a low mindset, everything bothers me. When I’m in a high mindset, it doesn’t. I rise above it and move forward.

One of the most common questions I receive when coaching on a high leadership mindset from which to speak and make your best decisions is HOW to get there.  It’s an easy and hard question to answer—easy in the sense that I know what works for me but hard in the sense that everyone is different and the tools in your toolbox may look quite different.

Here’s what I do know:  Having specific tools for this specific purpose is the most important thing. It’s probably THE most important thing in terms of improving yourself as a leader—the ability to shift your state of mind and the ability to shift into a strong emotional mindset before you speak or make decisions.

One thing that works for me and many others whom I have coached is using my breath to get centered within myself and focusing on what I’m grateful for and of what I’m feeling positively expectant. I also love the use of movement (like a short, brisk walk), uplifting music on my “Flow Playlist,” calling my husband or a friend who knows how to talk me out of a low state and help me find my way back to a higher place, and I often reference a list of quotes, passages, or memes that remind me of the value of my state of mind.

Jon Gordon said once, “When you appreciate, you elevate.” And that’s what we’re trying to do—elevate our state of being, our state of mind. When you do, you elevate and uplift yourself and those around you as well as your performance, decisions, and conversations.

We aren’t separate from others—on the road, at work, or in our lives. We are all one, having a shared experience. Be the one that uplifts that experience with an elevated state of mind. Get some tools in your toolbox that work for you. Go first.  Stay committed and get good at being the example of how to elevate your mindset and state of being. You’ll rock the world. You’ll certainly rock your world.

Remember, you ARE the traffic.

“The enlightened do not share a common body of knowledge but rather a common state of mind.”

~ Mason Cooley

Comments

  1. Thank you for this. An reading it as I wait on the we for the ambulance to arrive with my mom responsive 98 year old father. If been working in my mindset as I came across this email. Thank you! There are no coincidences in life…. This is what I needed to read on this moment.

    I loved your traffic description. You often have the best comparisons . While I’m now retired I can ask relate to what you share from my years of working with my team

    1. Thank you, Linda. I hope your father is okay. I’m sending positive energy for whatever lies ahead for your family. I’m so very pleased that this morning’s Stretch was comforting and helpful for you at just the right time. Thank you for taking a moment to write such a kind note to tell me so. It means a lot to me. Take care, Katherine

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