Today was a milestone. Today, I hit “SEND” on my book manuscript to my publisher. I made my deadline of March 31st after over two years of solid work. Though I’m still months away from holding it in my hands, the heavy lifting is done, and now I get to enjoy a moment of pride and accomplishment. There is definitely a glass of champagne in my very near future.
There were so many days I wanted to quit. Heck, there were days I actually did quit. And then, I would get back to the keyboard and restart, over and over. The main reason for my quitting and my struggle was the feeling of being overwhelmed—overwhelmed with the research, overwhelmed with the decisions, overwhelmed with the choices, overwhelmed with the setbacks, overwhelmed with the work and life that had to keep going while I tried to slip in time to write and finish the book. There were so many balls in the air, so much going on at one time, so much to remember, and so much to do.
But the last couple of months were much better for me because I read a statement that helped me change my relationship with “overwhelm.” Here’s what it said:
Overwhelm is not real. It’s not a fact; it’s a feeling. And you are not your feelings, and feelings are not facts.
Boom! Just like that I looked at my reaction to all the things on my plate and realized that being overwhelmed was just my response to those things and the high priority I’d put on each of them which, by the way, would have required a superhuman to accomplish. I was telling myself the story that all of them were vitally important, absolutely necessary, and totally unchangeable, none of which was true.
Decorating for St. Patrick’s Day is not vitally important. Writing a brand-new Monday Morning Stretch every week is not absolutely necessary (I have thousands I can recycle if I need to). Having the book published by a certain date is not unchangeable.
Most of my feelings of overwhelm are because of the self-imposed pressure I’ve put on myself or because of something I’m actually afraid of—something I’m afraid to claim, a boundary I’m afraid to enforce, something I’m afraid to say no to, a commitment I’m afraid to keep.
This week, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider that it’s just a feeling based on the stories, your interpretation of the priorities you’ve created, or potentially things you are avoiding because of fear. Consider trying on some new stories and exploring what you’re avoiding because you’re afraid. Just see if it doesn’t help you gain control of your feelings and make some better decisions.
Life is too short to live in a constant state of overwhelm. Let’s refuse to settle for that. We don’t have to live in overwhelm. We do have a choice.
“A person who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”
~ Lysa TerKeurst
