Do you sometimes feel you’re spinning in a never-ending destructive communication cycle with certain people? We all have, and we all will, until we understand how to recognize where we’re stuck and how to respond in a way that breaks us and the other person out of the cycle.
In 1968, San Francisco psychiatrist, Stephen B. Karpman developed a social model of human interaction call the Karpman drama triangle. The triangle maps a type of destructive interaction which can occur when people find themselves in conflict. Karpman determined that we can easily fall into one of three roles in the drama he identified as persecutors, victims, and rescuers. He described how, in many cases, we actually find justification and validation and become entrenched by playing and even switching between these roles, ultimately leaving the conflict unresolved.
My good friend, Deborah Bennett Berecz, a collaborative attorney, writes a monthly blog about navigating the conflict she sees so often in her office as she counsels and works with couples navigating divorce and other issues. Her insightful blog post about this drama triangle was so good. I just had to ask to share it with all of our Monday Morning Stretch readers. I do so here with her permission.
https://familyresolutions.us/2025/04/09/the-triangle-trap/
Thank you, Deb, for sharing such wisdom and useful tips on how to recognize we’re in the cycle, playing one or more roles within this triangle, and what to watch for when we are committed to thoughtful resolution over winning at all costs.
“The better able team members are to engage, speak, listen, hear, interpret, and respond constructively, the more likely their teams are to leverage conflict rather than be leveled by it.”
~ Runde and Flanagan
