“What are you doing?” asked my husband when he walked outside and saw me sitting in a patio chair.
“Nothing,” I replied, “but I feel like I should be doing something.”
“Then you’re not really doing nothing. You’re worrying about doing nothing.”
Sometimes, he nails me. It was truly a rare sight for him because I’m in the habit of always doing something, especially during the holidays.
If we’re watching a movie, I’m also filing my nails or wrapping presents. If he’s cooking dinner and just wants me to sit and chat with him about my day, I’m washing up the dishes and putting things away as he uses them. If we’re driving in the car, I’m reading or working on my computer. I hardly ever just sit in the moment. Without really thinking about it, I feel like it would be a huge waste of time to just sit when there’s always something that I could be doing or even something that I could “get a head start on” to free up more time in the future. It’s like a natural reflex for achievers. Fill the space. Use the time. Get ahead so you can relax… eventually. The problem is that it can easily become a chronic state of being.
I have a rich, full life, overflowing with opportunities, desires, and experiences. As a result, there are always a lot of items on my to-do list, and when faced with a temporary moment of stillness, I often look for something I’ve missed that would fit perfectly into this unplanned (but surely useful) moment.
Tom’s off-hand statement stuck with me for days. It made me realize that if I’m resting or relaxing but simultaneously guilting or shaming myself for not being productive the whole time, then it’s not actually true rest.
If you’re like me, you work hard—for yourself, for your clients or patients, and for your family. And I hope, like me, that you are proud of your work ethic and love what you get to do, but I’m also realizing more and more the power in true rest and real disconnection from the pull of demands.
As we head into the holiday season, if you find that you are chronically tired, then give the gift of true rest to yourself and your loved ones. Just be. Trust the goodness in it. Let out a great big breath, and breathe in the peace of the present moment. Balance all your good work with intervals of true rest. Refuse to allow guilt, shame, comparison, or the big pull of overachieving to seep into you while you’re doing it.
Sip some tea, watch the sunset or the sunrise, cuddle up for a holiday movie, enjoy a warm fire with a good book, go for a ride and just take in the scenery and the organic conversation.
Our work is good for the world. True rest is good for our souls.
“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.”
— Alan Cohen
Comments
This was such a GREAT reminder, thank you!
You’re very welcome, Tiffany! Hope your holidays have plenty of quiet, restorative downtime.
Katherine, What a beautiful message. So powerful, and just what I needed to hear. I love Monday Morning Stretch. Every week I wonder, “How can Katherine ever top this message?” …and then you do. You are truly gifted at inspiring your followers. Thank you.
Goodness, Cheryl. You could not have left me a more meaningful message. Thank you for taking a few moments to sit down and write it. It means the world to me to know people like you are out there in the ether, reading and benefiting from my blog. Thanks for being the best part of LionSpeak and our work here.
I love this! Making time for rest doesn’t come naturally to me. This is a great reminder! Thank you, Katherine!
I feel your pain, Kim! I’m getting better but far from mastering it. Here’s wishing our holiday season this year gives us a lot of practice at just “being” and valuing it.
Perfect timing. Perfect message. Thank you – I needed this!
Oh, I’m so glad, Erin! Glad it was helpful and just what you needed. Thanks for writing.
This was just what I needed to hear, I felt guilty not feeling up to do all wanted to do today. Forget about the oral surgery I had yesterday, I need to move, not sleep and recover. I called a friend who laughed at me, as she had been through the same thing. Her advice was to do nothing. I have been doing nothing all day, it felt great. Thank you Katherine, as always right on time.
Erica, I’m so happy that my blog inspired you to value the rest you gave yourself today. Nothing matters if we’re not well and grounded. Well done!
Rest is such a challenge for so many of us. I will take this message home and spend more “present” time with my husband who’s love language is quality time!
That’s wonderful, Kirstina! I’m thrilled that the blog inspired you to prioritize the gift of time with your husband. It’s my husband’s LL too! And it really makes a difference, but I have to be intentional about it. I hope it adds to the quality of your upcoming holidays. Thanks for writing and being part of our community.