Please tell me I’m not the only one. I decide on a goal. I’m on fire for a week or two, and then I slack off or get totally off-track. I know exactly what the behavior is that is sabotaging my intentions. I know the problem, and it’s usually me. Now I’m frustrated and feel worse and worse about myself the more that I think about my original intention and my lack of personal discipline to be consistent and get it done. I am an undisciplined wimp. Loser. Procrastinator. Fatso. (Did I just say that out loud?)
At this point, one of two things happens: I either quit altogether or I try again, only to experience the same dynamic a few weeks later. So, what does any self-respecting coach do about this? No, she doesn’t eat a half-gallon of ice cream while watching reruns on TV. Pleeeez. She seeks some coaching for herself, of course!
Looking for some non-caloric help, I found just what I needed in an article by performance coach, Michael Hyatt. He recommends the “If / Then” approach to this dilemma. Michael contends that to accomplish our goals or create a habit that moves from hard to easy requires willpower. And willpower is like a muscle—it does get stronger with use but flex it too much, and we can wear it out. He contends that every decision we make takes energy, and if we have to keep making the decision over and over to do what we know we should do in the moment, we can diminish our energy so much that we make a bad decision or no decision at all. The solution is to remove the decision in the moment completely.
Here’s how it works: If I’ve committed to exercising at least 5 days a week, I stop remaking that decision every morning. I make it the night before. I lay out my workout clothes at the end of my bed so it’s the first thing I put on. I fill up my water bottle. I make my smoothie. In the morning, I’m on my way. No decision. I’ve already decided that “if” the weather’s bad, “then” I’ll run on my treadmill. “If” I’m hungry before my workout, “then” I’ll drink my smoothie.
If I’ve decided that I’m going to shut work off by 6:00 p.m. every day, then I don’t remake that decision every day at 6:00. I’ve already decided that “if” someone calls after 5:45, “then” I’ll let it go to voicemail. “If” someone wants a 5:00 meeting, “then” I’ll tell them that I’ll have to be wrapping up the call by 5:50.
Michael feels this “If / Then” approach gives our willpower muscle a break, without losing momentum. Researchers call this pre-response an “implementation intention.” The decisions are already made when we’re feeling stronger and have more energy to make them. We’ve now set ourselves up so there’s no decision to make when the actual event arrives. It’s the plan for what kills the plan. Whatever obstacle arises, we’ve already decided how to get past it.
The way I see it, I’ve got a choice. I can continue to stay frustrated with myself and spend a lot of energy trying to chase away those nasty little destructive voices in my head, or I can try a new approach. Yep, I’m game.
So, “if” you see me out early on my bike next week even if it’s cold, “then” you’ll know it worked.
“If not us, who? If not now, when?”
~ Hillel the Elder
