Since the beginning, humans have created reoccurring ceremonies and traditions that help us recall important moments in our history, signify significant rites of passage, and celebrate things which unite and bond us. Since I was a child, I have always loved traditions. Growing up in the Episcopal faith, I loved the seasons of the church calendar marked by different alter …
The Drama Triangle vs. the Empowerment Triangle
You may have heard of the “Drama Triangle.” It was initially introduced by a psychiatrist named Stephen Karpman in the 1960’s as a “social model of human interaction” to demonstrate unproductive patterns of relating when conflicts arise. Each point of the inverted triangle represents one of three “faces of drama”: The persecutor (constantly finding fault and placing blame), the victim …
From the Top
“My job is to report it, not to fix it. That’s my manager’s job. That’s why she gets paid the big bucks!” This was the reply I received when I asked a client’s team member if she would be open to some coaching about how to solve a conflict with one of her co-workers. Simultaneously, her manager had complained to …
Celebrating Partnerships
Eleven years ago, I interviewed a young, bright virtual assistant in Ohio who possessed all the technical skills I needed to support my growing speaking and coaching business. She was professional and timely. She had experience in helping to make busy professionals’ lives easier by handling all the little details behind the scenes like travel arrangements, client scheduling, shipping, bookkeeping, …
Retention Vulnerability
When a country’s defense systems are weak, unprepared, or ill-informed, it becomes vulnerable to attack from its enemies. When a person is unaware of their surroundings, they are vulnerable to pickpockets. When immune systems are comprised, people are vulnerable to sickness. The same is true for our businesses. When we don’t pay attention to why employees leave or stay, we …
The Fuel of Frustration
Would it surprise you if I said that I love frustration? Oh, not for me. I hate it when I’m frustrated, yet I actually love it when a client or team member tells me they’re frustrated because frustration can be one of the single greatest motivators for action. When we feel frustrated, it means that we care strongly about something …
The BIG Difference
Someone recently asked me what was different about my current marriage and its success in relation to my previous marriage which ended in divorce. I didn’t have to think long about my answer: communication. The difference is in the quality of it, the timing of it, and the intention and discipline of it. And it’s not that different when I …
Every Table is Everyone’s Table
One Friday night, Tom and I met for a well-deserved happy hour and dinner after a very long, full week. Tom chose one of his favorites, a local San Diego brewery, Karl Strauss. The modern, rustic restaurant has only been open in Temecula for about a year. Unlike most places (especially when they first open), since the very first time …
The Slow, Deadly Boil
You’ve probably heard the old (slightly morbid) fable of how to cook a frog. If you throw it in a pot of boiling water, the frog will immediately jump out of the pot to save its life. But, place the frog in a pot of cool water, put the heat on low, and slowly increase the temperature, and the frog …
Stop Apologizing!
Recently, I enjoyed a week with some of my best friends—three couples who’ve been close friends for years, have much in common, and love just hanging out and spending time together. One morning we reserved a pickleball court and challenged ourselves to 2 hours of non-stop friendly competition. With six people and only one court, we played to a score …
