View Post

Don’t Pick Up the Rope

“Yes, you did!” “No, I didn’t!” “I know I’m right.” “Well, I know you’re NOT right.” “That’s not true.” “Yes, it IS true.” Ever been there? I have—recently!  I call it the spin cycle—round and round and round we go, a cat chasing its tail with a frustrating inability to actually catch it. None of us go into an argument …

View Post

Courageous Conversations for Life

I bet you’ve heard the statement, “Leave your personal life at the door.” Wouldn’t it be nice if it was just that easy? I agree that a business environment requires whatever is going on for us personally to be manageable enough to allow us to conduct ourselves professionally with clients, patients, and our team—or we should stay home. But we …

View Post

When Emotions Highjack Our Logic

Disclaimer:  My husband is a saint. While I did ask Tom’s permission to recount the following story to all of you… if you ever meet him, please thank him for his willingness to submit himself frequently to my weekly messages and for contributing greatly to our continued mutual and communal learning. Some weeks, it just has to be hard to …

View Post

Perhaps Love

My colleague, Paul Homoly, once told me that my message, speech, and offerings on any subject would get better once I wrote a book on it. Already a published author, he knew from experience that the rigorous process of organizing your thoughts, proving the argument, providing a clear process, and inspiring the reader to action is required for a well-written book. The …

View Post

Calm Under Pressure

I believe people’s true colors are revealed when they find themselves under real pressure. I once watched a grown man on a boat in heavy seas, who was in a full-on panic, push a small child out of the way to get himself to safety. Another time, I stood in disbelief as a small argument between two people in a restaurant turned …

View Post

Positive Conflict

“I hate conflict, and I avoid it at all costs. It’s just how I’m wired. So I guess I just have to put up with it.” This was a statement made to me recently by a team member who was struggling in her job with someone who, in her opinion, was an overbearing supervisor. I believe this statement and belief …

View Post

When they go up, we come down

There have been countless moments in my life when someone or something triggered a big emotion within me. And that emotion always spawned an even bigger, often immediate, reaction from me. Most of those, I have later regretted. We are currently living in one of the most collectively stressful times in the last 50 years, and everywhere people’s reactions are demonstrating the …

View Post

You Gotta Mean It

The words, “I’m sorry,” can sometimes feel like a true apology or just a great big brush-off. I’m reminded of a time when, long after its due date, a cushion I’d ordered from Pier One hadn’t arrived. For a week the tracking section of the UPS website stated it was “scheduled for delivery today.” After several attempts to track the package online, …

View Post

The Gift of Conflict

Every time we face conflict… it’s a generous gift. No exceptions. You may not accept the gift, but it is there for the taking, nonetheless. There is growth here for us that is available no other way but through conflict. In addition, every time we approach conflict from a bigger perspective … we model a better way … as a reminder to ourselves and …

View Post

Conversational Cocktails

The ancient Chinese philosopher, Laozi, said, “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” For years I have been a student of what constitutes, influences, and improves Conversational Intelligence (CI), and lately there has been a tremendous amount of neuroscience giving us great insight into how we can master our …