Be Like Ron

The countdown has begun. Three days to lift off! For many of us, it could be the lift off of big emotions, big drama, and big triggers that holiday events with family and friends can bring. I mean, we all know that person—the one we know will likely bring the match to the fire.

But this year, what if we weren’t triggered, weren’t drawn in, and didn’t even have a big emotional response? What if we could truly embody the notion that no one actually triggers us anyway. We allow that to happen. Other people can definitely do or say things that we don’t like, but we are in charge of what we do and how we manage the thoughts and feelings those things provoke. We give them definition and meaning. We decide how much power it has over our own internal state, our response, our energy, our experience, and – dare I say – our love.

What if we could look past the often resentful, angry, antagonistic, rude, pessimistic, or even mean-spirited adult they have become and could only see, speak and react to the innocent, loveable, moldable child they once were? What if we decided that regardless of how they see the world, we’ll hold it in our own view without any need to challenge, convince, or persuade them into our view? What if we could completely drop our judgement of them and treat them as if they were the person we wish they were? What if we spoke to the part of them that is actually seeking to be seen, understood, and accepted?

Today is my Daddy’s 87^th birthday. I was gifted by God with one of the best men on the planet as my father. His name is Ron, and I’ve always said he is the most consistently happy person I have ever known. Regardless of what is going on with the person he’s talking to, the room he’s in, or the world at large, he is patient, kind, and steady. He might not like you, but you’d be hard pressed to know it. He would never entertain the idea of allowing you to have any control on his calm state, sense of self, and feeling of happiness.

He probably won’t like me saying this because he is as humble as he is happy, but what if this week, as we navigate all the crazy personalities in this chaotic wonderland that is “the holidays,” we could more like Ron—happy in spite of how others are behaving, settled in spite of their chaos, steady in the face of their emotional whirlwind, loving in spite of their negativity?

We’ve likely all read the famous poem, “Do It Anyway,” which was found handwritten on the wall of Mother Teresa’s home for children in Calcutta, but it bears repeating every now and again:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

In the spirit of Mother Teresa, even when people are grumpy, negative, or even rude, you don’t have to condone their behavior, but you can still love them and remain steady in your own calmness and sense of wellbeing. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about—choosing love?

So, let’s all be more like Ron—steady, strong, patient, and kind as well as loving and happy by choice.

From our team here at LionSpeak, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our friends, clients, and colleagues!

“It pays to know the enemy – not least because at some time you may have the opportunity to turn him into a friend.”

~ Margaret Thatcher